I had a less than awesome parenting break down today. Essentially I reacted in a way that I shouldn’t have and that modeled exactly for Ezra what I was trying to teach him NOT to do. I felt really bad about myself. He got over my breakdown quickly and was happily playing soon after, yet I noticed that both Micah and him stayed really close to me after that, and Micah kept on asking me if I was happy (or if I had chosen happy yet). We’ve been teaching them that we can chose how we want to feel, and that however we want to feel is OK (and Micah, my sweet 3 year old, keeps on reminding me that I can chose how I want to feel. I love it!) Anyway, I wanted to cry. I wanted to be sad. I felt miserable. I asked myself why I wanted to feel that way, and what it was accomplishing. I realized that I thought if the kids saw how badly I felt they would know that I was sorry, and then would forgive me. I realized quickly that, THEY had already moved on and forgiven me, and OK, I had modeled bad behavior for them, but I had the opportunity now to teach them something more important through that. I could beat myself up about it, chose to feel miserable about myself all day, or I could say: OK, I messed up, I’m sorry. I’m going to move on, and no longer feel bad about the past. So I chose to move on (and at least work out my issues without the kids around).